San Diego, CA - Tony, the Drive-By Dent Guy

Call me Aesop. I’ve got a story with a moral. A modern story. A story about the Drive-By Dent Guy. It’s like the story about the Drive-By Tree Guy. Oh, you’ve never heard of this tale?. Well, gather around and I’ll tell you the story.

A long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away) (oops, wrong beginning), we had a friend who lived in a new development where there were no trees. Up pops a guy driving through the development with young trees in his pick-up truck. Nice looking trees, green leaves, brown branches, black root balls - looked like strong healthy trees. Our friend bought two of these trees, planted them, watered them and waited. And waited. And waited. And, slowly but surely the trees died. The Drive-By Tree Guy was gone and the check had been cashed.

Gotta watch out for the Drive-By Tree Guy.

Well, here’s another guy you’ve got to watch our for: the Drive-By Dent Guy.

Our next-site neighbor had a dent in the rear of his truck. Up pops the Drive-By Dent Guy, named Tony, in his shiny new Ford 150, with all sorts of equipment and pictures of work he had done for others. He checked out the dent, told about heating the metal up, popping out the dent without damaging the paint and our friends were hooked. ‘$200’, Tony said. ‘Oh, gee, that’s a lot of money’, the neighbor said. ‘$150 in cash’, Tony said. ‘OK , but I don’t have that much cash’. ‘I’ll drive you to the ATM’, Tony said. ‘How about a check?’ our neighbor said.

The clues were there. But our neighbor plowed on.

And, it was a deal. The guy went to work and 25 minutes later he was back, asking for his money. “Make the check out to my girl friend, I don’t have a checking account’, Tony said. The neighbor inspected the work, it looked all right and he wrote out the check.’

Meanwhile our neighbor is getting suspicious (it’s about time). He checks Tony’s car: no license plates. Tony has no business cards, no last name but he writes his phone number on a piece of paper. Well, it’s too late: the neighbor paid, Tony drove off and that was that.

10 minutes later, we look out and a park ranger is at our neighbor’s door. Someone else had reported Tony driving through the park soliciting business and the rangers were after him. Our neighbor cancels the check.

Gotta watch out for the Drive-By Dent Guy.

Us? We’re just waiting to be hit by the Drive-By Donut Guy.
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And, here’s more to the story. 3 hours later: Tony calls, berates the guy about the cancelled check, questions his morality and demands the money. Pretty nervy, this Drive-By-Dent Guy.
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And, here’e the end to the story. 3 days later, our neighbor decided to pay $50 since some work was done, gets a certified check and mails it off to the Drive-By Dent Guy.