Mesa, AZ - Am I Really Married to a 70-yr old?

What’s ‘OLD’ to you? Well, to me, it’s a moving target - depending upon how old I am. When I was 5, the next door girl who was 10 and actually had glasses was ‘old’ Then, when I was 8, the babysitter who was 16, wore make-up, had a boyfriend and drove a car was ‘old.’ At the rip old age of 21, the age difference increased a lot and it was my parents who were in their 50’s who were old. And so on. However, now, I’m 70 and am married to a guy who is 70 today and I’m thinking that the young parents of today are exceptionally ‘young.’ Was I ever that young? It’s all relative.

But, I am married to a guy who is 70 years old today, the 31st of December, a good little tax deduction for his parents back in 1946. So, I thought I’d write an ‘Ode to Gary’ and cull through all the old photos he has laboriously put onto our computer and find some of my favorites.

It stated with Darlene and Milan, nicknamed ‘Lug’ who survived the war where she was a waitress in Fort Dodge and he was in the Navy in Hawaii. They hardly knew each other when the war began but began a long correspondence when he was shipped out to Hawaii. Their letters were censored, of course, but mostly they were about mundane things. He was an artist and drew little cartoons all over the envelopes. About 20 years ago, Darlene was showing these to us but, since they were love letters, she was just showing us the cartoons on the envelopes. Cool. She died in 2001 and he died in 2013. Then the search began. We looked high and low, in the attic and in the basement, through every box they had squirreled away over 55 years of marriage looking for those letters. Never found them, What a disappointment to all of us.

But here they are, in quite a playful mood.

When he returned from the service, they got married, two young kids who hardly knew each other.

Lug was on the GI Bill and he and Darlene drove to Chicago for art school. They had so little money so he took a job with loading up trucks. Sometimes he didn’t even have the 10¢ to pay for his bus ride home and he had to walk. Then he met a guy who told him that he might be able to get a job as an insurance salesman but he had to learn sales techniques first and he took a job selling encyclopedias.

Meanwhile, the family was growing and here is little Gary at 3 months.

He grew pretty fast and here he is out side their apartment in Chicago, jaunty as ever in his cool fedora.

3 years later he had a sister, Cathy. I’m thinking that Darlene must have used the proverbial bowl to cut their hair. Brutal.

For grins and giggles, when we traveled to Chicago many years later with Cathy and Tom, the two siblings recreated the picture and here it is. I think the haircuts are a bit better.

Older now and off to school. This is another brutal haircut. But the bow tie and single button on the jacket make him look so cosmopolitan.

Here’s a family vacation. This was copied from a slide so looks a bit reddish. How high can Gary get those pants?

Who doesn’t have to stop in the Badlands and get their picture taken at this site. And, look at the huge knife tucked into his belt. What was he expecting? Grizzlies?

Milan proved adept at selling encyclopedias so was hired by Prudential as an insurance salesman and was able to get assigned to the Fort Dodge, Iowa office where he worked his whole career.

Confirmation.

And, then the cool car. In high school he dated Jan Jones who lived in Badger, a small town about 15 miles from Fort Dodge. He drove out to pick her up, drove back into town for the date, drove back out to Badger to drop her off and then drove back home to Fort Dodge, In the morning his father was stunned at the mileage he had put on the car and interrogated him about where they had gone.

Our high school put on a play each year and one year it was My Fair Lady. Gary got the part of Zoltan Kaparthy, a language aficionado from Hungary.

But, he also ran for Student Body President, which he won. We all worked in his parents basement on his campaign posters, one of which is here. I remember using a huge mirrored thing that took a small picture and reflected it larger on a black piece of paper for us to trace and color. And that’s how we did so many of his posters. But I doubt that it was the posters that won it for him. Must have been that friendly smile. 

Off to college at the University of Iowa. He’s starting to look much more suave than he did in high school.

In the summer he worked for his Uncle Ralph shingling homes in Fort Dodge where he got this awesome tan. Here he is at his ‘desk’ in his apartment above a pizza joint in Iowa City. Note the Johnny Mathis album there, he must have thought that all the women swooned over ‘Chances Are.’ He’s pretty careful with his record player, covering it with a towel but, what are those liquor bottles doing there?

College graduation.

Then, the Navy. He surely didn’t want to go into the Army where he’d be shipped to Viet Nam with a gun in his hand. So he chose the Navy. In college he got engaged to a young woman named Jill whose uncle was a partner with a man named John Ferguson in the Farm and Town Lumber Store in Fort Dodge. When he joined the Navy, she sent him a Dear John letter with the engagement ring in it. Because he was in boot camp, he had to get special permission from the Chaplain to call her. Now, I suppose I should be sad that this happened, but, nope, I’m happy it happened.

A friend took this picture for him to send home to show his parents how suave and cool he looked in his new uniform. Now, Gary worked with a bunch of guys and they all smoked and got breaks to go out for a cigarette. Gary asked if he could go with them but was told that he couldn’t because he didn’t smoke. He had to stay at his workbench and keep working. Well, he’s no dummy, he took up smoking too. When his little sister saw this picture, she yelled, ‘look, he’s got a cigarette.’ And, that was the end of that.

I don’t know the story of this picture and I’m not going to ask.

Gary looks like he’s three sheets to the wind in this picture. Not him.

Gary and I started dating in 1970. In the winter of 1969, I was a teacher in Warwick, RI and was heading home for Christmas. My mother thought she’s invite lots of my old high school friends to a party and called Gary’s mother to ask for Gary’s address. Oh, too bad, Darlene said, he’s in the Navy in Newport, RI and won’t be home for Christmas. My mother must have heard wedding bells even then. Oh, by the way, my father is John Ferguson, a partner in Farm and Town Lumber. Funny, the coincidence.

So, did I fall for him because of his dreamy eyes? His paisley shirt?

His cool fringed pants?

His shiny polished car?

Well, maybe none of those things. Here we are in our first apartment together. Yep, we sure have a sense of style.

Today, he turned 70 and tomorrow is our 44th anniversary. What a great time we’re having and looking forward to many more years together. Who says 70 is old?